March 21, 2007

So. Things have become complicated over here, and I’m so glad that I rejoined the parent company for an internship. In the past two days I’ve been so exhausted I barely have any time to think, let alone fret about the circumstances of my love life. Oh, I fall in love too easily. I fall in love too fast.

I blame Z for doing this to me. Had his lusty roving eye not fallen upon the G’s AC-ruggerness and tophood, I would not have met them at Taboo and G would not have known me when he bumped into me the following day at St James. Now I wake up and think fondly of him. But, you know, as with all things with me (the O, random other guys, chicken pox) this will pass soon. Grrrr. Brrrr.

This should not be happening. I’m tough as nails. I haven’t allowed myself to feel any affection for anyone in a long time – almost four months now. Hence the numerous encounters. It’s much easier (and more fun) to drown your loneliness in sexual predation. Not to mention, of course, extremely validating. The past three months have shown me that I’m not that ugly after all, that I can land myself good-looking guys with a modicum of intelligence, not just those mingers in toilets with hair in all the wrong places. Which is a step forward.

SO. The G hasn’t called yet, and I’m starting to feel a bit anxious. Damn these tops of all shapes and sizes, they’ll use you and they’ll lose you. But don’t you ever for a second get to thinking, you’re irreplaceable.


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