You Take the High Road

October 4, 2006

‘You won’t understand, you’re not in a straight monogamous relationship,’ she said. And with that I knew that we weren’t friends in that sense of the word. I have been objectified over and over, not least by people I (used to) love, but this was treachery of the deepest kind – why, just because I offer a dissenting opinion, must it be attributed to my sexuality? This is the new homophobia. The idea that, at some base level, we are different because of the genitals we prefer. A new, more dangerous and insidious form of homophobia – for it disguises itself under a veneer of openness and tolerance. But there, the sting in the tail – ‘oh, you won’t understand, you’re not like me.’

I like my bigots where I can classify them – Republican, fundamentalist Christian, gun lobbyist, these I can handle. But friends who understand that you will never understand – this is something new that I have not yet come to terms with. I can’t imagine how this is any better than introducing me as ‘the gay Asian guy’.

Because I am more than just a label. Hell, I am more than just a labia. Hell, I don’t even have a labia.


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